Falling For You, All Over Again
by Jinni
Summary: It shouldn't really have been possible but that had never stopped something from happening before. PostDoomsday. Series 2 spoilers. RoseNine.
1. Prologue

Title: Falling For You, All Over Again  
Author: Jinni (jinni. R  
Disclaimer: All things Doctor Who belong to the BBC, et al.  
Spoilers: Doomsday.  
Author's Note: This has been in my head since I woke up this morning. I must write it. I must.  
Summary: It wouldn't make sense for there to be a Doctor in this reality. Then again — when did things have to make sense?

x x x Prologue x x x

It wouldn't make sense, of course, for there to be a Doctor in this reality; but that had never stopped Rose from believing before. After all, she had seen some pretty nonsensical things during her travels with the Doctor. Like a consciousness that could float from body to body, inhabiting them for periods of time — like Cassandra had done… repeatedly. Or like the Gelth — aliens that needed corpses to survive. Or …

Lots of things that made no sense, yes. Not to her. Maybe to the Doctor.

Probably to the Doctor, that was.

And he would say that it was impossible, there being an alternate him in this universe.

But the Doctor had been wrong before. In fact, he seemed to sort of like it when he was wrong. It made him a grinning, giddy fool.

He had taught her well, too. To question, not to discount. To look into things more than just the surface showed.

So when she first stumbled upon the references in the Torchwood database — quite by accident because she hadn't even been looking for them to begin with — she didn't immediately dismiss them as being impossible; simply because that was not what the Doctor would have wanted.

Because being impossible had never stopped anything from happening before.

Rose licked her lips, staring at the screen. Her eyes flitted back and forth, reading word after word, absorbing sentence after sentence. Just one account at first. About when the Doctor — her Doctor — visited from the alternate universe. But there was a reference, to another file. An older file.

Hesitantly — almost reverently — Rose clicked the link to that file.

Her breath caught in her throat. There he was. Her Doctor.

Her original Doctor.

She reached out, unthinking, and touched the screen in front of her; tears lodging in the back of her throat. Leather jacket, almost-shaved head. Intense eyes. Yes, this was him. The picture was old, from the fifties or thereabouts she would hazard a guess — but it was him. The breath she had been holding was let loose in a sigh so loud that it seemed to fill the room.

The Doctor.

x x x

It took her ages to come up with a plan to get him to take notice. Couldn't just wait around, hoping that he decided to pop back by Earth — because no matter how often he did that, how often he returned to London or Cardiff — there was the chance that he would miss her. She had to make waves. Make ripples in all of time to get him to take notice of her, or at the very least — Torchwood.

So she did the one thing that she would never have otherwise considered — trusting that the Doctor would be able to fix it all when and if he found her.

She betrayed him.

In absolute detail, Rose set about making an account of not only her travels with the Doctor of her world, but everything she knew about him. It wasn't much — but it was more than the people of Torchwood — or this world — should have known. It was enough, she hoped, to set off flags somewhere in the tardis' consciousness that this was wrong that it needed to come here and now to make it right. The Doctor would step out, thinking he'd landed in one place as usual — and find himself here.

Still, she felt as if this was a betrayal.

She hoped he wouldn't see it that way. Hoped that he wouldn't take it as a threat to himself.

No. He wouldn't. He would be curious. Curious to a fault, even.

"Always so curious," she whispered under her breath, typing out the last of her words. The accounts would be different. The Doctor in this universe would never have had those travels with her that she'd had with the other Doctor. But she trusted that the basic facts remained the same. Things like Gallifrey and Time War.

Things that should not be told. Not here. Not now. Not to the people of Torchwood.

She just wanted to talk to him, she told herself. Whether or not she could ever travel with him again, she wanted to see him. Compare him? Yes, she wanted that to. In a morbid way, she wanted to compare him to her original Doctor. Wanted to see if some things had remained the same. Was he still bitter and hard? Had he found someone to work through that with, as her second Doctor had once told her he had done with her?

There was no way to know for sure without doing it.

Still, her fingers trembled as she finished the last of the new file. The one that she would send to her superior for review and inclusion into the Torchwood database. Her heart raced and her blood pumped furiously in her chest. Loud. Fast. Hard. Too fast. She was getting lightheaded, hyperventilating just at the thought of doing this.

With the push of a button, Rose set off what she hoped would be a red flag in all of this reality's space and time.

x x x

She wasn't sure what she had expected to happen — but the near immediate sound of the tardis materializing in her office was not it.

Rose scrambled to her feet, backing up a couple steps; watching as the familiar blue box appeared slowly in front of her. She ran her hands along her pants, trying to rid them of the film of sweat that suddenly appeared.

Of course. He could be there at any second in time. It made sense, then, that he would be here to quickly. That he would choose this moment to come and undo the damage that she had done.

The whining groan of the engine faded to nothing. Until there was just her and the tardis, face-to-face, so to speak. And her waiting for the Doctor to pop his head out and ask her how she knew so very much about him, of course. Was he in there, right now, watching her watch the tardis? Was he looking her over, trying to place her?

Or had he already researched her and found out what little there was to know about her in this reality? Adopted daughter of Jackie and Pete Tyler — that's what she was officially, set up through all kinds of legal channels. Adopted daughter, because in this world the Tylers had never had a daughter Rose.

No past beyond that. Just her time here, at Torchwood. No past beyond when she had been sucked into this reality, by her father, to save her life. Only then had she become a permanent part of this timeline, she reasoned. Only then had her past, present, and future truly begun here and ended there.

By the time the door opened, she was faint in the legs from nervousness. It didn't open slowly, either. It was opened just as he'd always opened it — like he had a purpose. Then again, he usually did. Rose sucked her lower lip into her mouth and bit down, doing her best not to whimper.

The Doctor.

Not her Doctor, she reminded herself; just in case the urge to run over and hug him overcame him.

There he was.

Rose leaned back against the wall behind her as suddenly her legs were too weak to hold her any longer. He was there. In front of her, watching her curiously.

"Doctor," she whispered.

The corner of his mouth twitched. "Rose Tyler, I presume?"

x x x END PROLOGUE x x x


	2. Nice to Meet You I Think

x x x Chapter One: Nice to Meet You, I Think x x x

There was that little part at the back of her mind that was insisting that she should say something; verify that yes, she was Rose Tyler, and that she was definitely the one that he was looking for.

The battered leather jacket looked the same as it had in her reality. Same piercing eyes and cut of hair. Same way that he leaned against things, arms crossed over his chest, one ankle over the other. Even the same intensity to his gaze; so deep and penetrating that she had once wondered if he could see right inside of her.

Then again, maybe he could. She hadn't found out until he regenerated what being 'slightly telepathic' meant to him. It meant a lot more than she'd thought. He could get inside someone's head and look at their thoughts. Wasn't too hard to believe that the Doctor could see right to your soul if he wanted.

The thing was — and this was had always counted on — was that the Doctor would never want to look that deep inside of anyone. Not her, most especially. It was about trust.

But this Doctor didn't trust her. She could see that in the way he was watching her. She couldn't blame him, either.

"Are you Rose Tyler?"

She nodded and leaned a little more heavily against the wall. It really was the only thing holding her up at this point. Bit of plaster and wood. Nothing more. If it wasn't there, she'd fall right onto her bottom, because her legs were in no shape to support her.

Her Doctor, right here in front of her.

No, not her Doctor. Her Doctor was in her reality. This Doctor didn't know her.

"Are you all right? You look pale. Are you going to fall over?"

Then he was moving. Before she could say a word he had taken the chair from behind her desk and placed it in front of her, urging her into it with a hand on her elbow. And if she shut her eyes for just a second, she imagined she'd be able to forget that the hand that touched her was not the one that she'd known so very well. The one that had held her hand through countless adventures; reassuring her, guiding her.

But he wasn't him and that hand wasn't his.

"Just feeling a bit faint," she muttered, pulling from his grasp gently. Not meaning to be rude, but unable to take the reminder of his touch. He took the hint and also a step back; watching her, but not saying a word.

Well, if he was waiting for her to explain herself, she wasn't about to disappoint him.

Just as soon as she knew where to begin.

"You're here about the reports, yes?" she asked quietly, risking a glance up. He didn't seem angry at the mention of them, and a little weight eased off of her heart. "Probably wonderin' how I know all that stuff?"

"You're from an alternate reality."

The instantaneous response made Rose's mouth snap shut. She frowned. Shouldn't be too surprised, she guessed. He was the Doctor, after all, and the Doctor, as he had always been fond of telling her in his last incarnation, was brilliant. "Guess not, then."

"What I don't understand, is why you're here in the first place," he knelt on the floor at her feet, watching her. The question was so blunt that it rankled at Rose's already frazzled nerves.

"Didn't you read the report?" she snapped, unable to stop herself. She blushed when she realized what she'd done and sat back in the chair with a sigh. "The Doomsday report, didn't you read it? S'obvious you read the others."

"The Cybermen versus the Daleks," the Doctor said, mouth turning up in a grim smile. "Sounds like a science fiction movie." He paused and the smile faded to worry. "And now they're all in the Void?"

Rose nodded. "Yeah. All of 'em. I hope."

"That makes two of us," the Doctor responded. "And Pete Tyler popped in at the last moment to save you, bring you here, to this world, just when you were about to go into the Void yourself?"

Another nod and a sigh came from Rose's lips. She felt suddenly so weary, as if the weight of that day was hanging on her shoulders all over again. Of all the ways she'd imagined this going, this wasn't it. Not this calm, almost cool interrogation. She'd thought maybe anger, maybe blazing curiosity. But not this. Never this.

"Problem is, Rose Tyler — you were never meant to be a part of this world. Oh, I know. And your mum was meant to die here and Rickey was supposed to slough off himself, not be replaced by your Mickey. All of that is one thing. But you, Rose Tyler. You know too much to be here, taking up space where no Rose Tyler was meant t'take up space. Your very existence in this reality could do more harm than good. Everything where you are concerned is blank up here," he tapped his head. "Not. Good. You could change everything with one wrong word. Things that these people aren't supposed to know. You traveled with the other me for far too long just to get dropped off, working for people like this Torchwood."

She felt fear thread its way through her heart and body. It made her heart speed up, her breath catch in her throat. For all that she knew that the Doctor — her Doctor — would never harm someone, even if it was for the greater good; she worried that maybe, just maybe, she was too much of a liability. That, coupled with the fact that she didn't know one thing about how this Doctor in front of her worked made her very, very nervous.

"I won't say anything."

"You already did," he pointed out. And there was the anger that she had expected. That sharp, biting anger that she had rarely known to come down upon her.

"I wanted —"

"To get my attention. And now you have it." Again his smile was something short of happy and very close to dangerous.

Rose's thoughts skidded to a halt, crashing into one another in her head until there was a pileup and all she could think about was one thing —

She was Rose Tyler and she didn't let anyone, the Doctor or not — talk to her like this.

Standing slowly, Rose put her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at him. "Right. Now I have it. Silly me, wantin' to see if the man that I … cared about so much…" she fumbled over the words, unwilling to admit them now, to him. The Doctor that mattered knew how she felt and that was enough for her. "…even existed in this world. Stupid ape, right?" She goaded him. "And yeah, I know too much. So —what-?"

The corner of his mouth twitched up, just a bit. Almost a smile. Rose felt her mouth doing the same and squashed it. She wasn't going to fall into that old routine. He flashes her a grand old smile and she does so right back. 

"Means I can't let you just stay here, wanderin' through this time line," he said with a shrug.

There was that nervousness again, but Rose refused to give into it. The Doctor wasn't about to kill her just because her existence in this reality could cause problems. That, she could be certain of.

She hoped.

"Oh?" Rose asked. "Can you take me back to my own timeline, then?"

It was a silly question. A silly, silly question and she knew it. Of all the impossible things that the Doctor had ever mentioned, she was sure this was one that was going to stay that way. Mickey and the others coming through the first time had been a fluke. And the Doctor would have made sure the world was all sealed tight from this one, now. He wouldn't let something like that happen again.

Then again, this was the Doctor, too — standing here watching her like… like… like she'd lost her mind.

"You know I can't do that."

"Was worth a shot," she sighed, giving him half a smile.

"S'pose it was," he grinned suddenly and it was the same grin that Rose had fallen for so very long ago. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from whimpering under the onslaught of feeling that it dredged up from within her. So hard to see him here and know he wasn't hers. "Would you want that anyway? Give up your family? Your little sister?"

Little Anna. Not even half a year old. Rose swallowed, the thought of never seeing her again bringing tears to her eyes. But like she'd said to the Doctor once, she had made her decision, and it was him. It would always be him.

"Like you said," she shrugged. "'M not meant to be here."

She wouldn't discuss those feelings with this Doctor. Wouldn't tell him of how she had loved her Doctor and how she was positive that he had loved her in return.

"Right," he nodded. "You're not. Which leaves only one option."

Rose took an instinctual step back, hands clenching into fists. Even as she did it and saw the surprise on the Doctor's face, followed by something remotely like exasperation, she knew she was being ridiculous.

"I'm not that different from your Doctor," he growled, waggling a finger at her in chastisement that was somewhat diminished by the amusement in his eyes. "And that includes not being the sort to just hurt someone like that, Rose Tyler."

"Of course," she nodded, giving him another smile. "So…what then?"

"You'll come with me, of course."

"I'll… sorry, could you repeat that?" Rose murmured, unsure that she had heard him right the first time.

"Well I can't let you go traipsing about where you don't belong and I can't take you back to your own reality," he pointed out, needlessly. "That only leaves two options — me trying to take your memories from you —"

"Don't you dare!" Rose shouted.

"Which I wouldn't do!" the Doctor rolled his eyes. "I realize we just met — but your lack of faith in me is something else."

She blushed.

"Or, I can take you with me. Keep an eye on you. Well, take you away from this timeline entirely, really," he continued on.

Rose couldn't swallow, couldn't breathe. Travel with the Doctor again? It was like a dream come true except… this wasn't her Doctor. It was a Doctor that looked like her first Doctor but he wasn't that Doctor --

She put a hand to her head. This was getting confusing, even by her standards.

"I —" she stammered, shaking her head. "I mean… Would I be able to visit my family… like before, with my Doctor?"

"Does it matter? Seems to me like you'd leave them without a second thought if I could take you back to your reality."

She frowned. It wasn't like that at all. "S'not like that. I just… I'm not meant for this anymore. And…" she broke off, looking away; still positive that he didn't need to know those things. Not her feelings. "There are other reasons I would go back to him. But," she emphasized, "if I am staying in this reality, then there's no reason we can't visit. Dropping by every now an' then wouldn't give me time to mess up the timeline, right?"

"Right," he grinned broadly. "I just wanted to see if you could work that out on your own. Just don't expect me to do the visiting with you. I —"

"Don't do domestic," Rose cut him off with a roll of her eyes. "Yeah, I know. Some things just don' change."

The Doctor's grin grew. He rubbed his hands together briskly. "I've already taken care of your reports, so if everything is settled for the time being… in with you." He tilted his head at the door of the tardis.

Rose grinned. She put her hand in her pocket, taking out her key. "This still work?"

"Try it."

She put the key to the lock, not even really surprised that it turned easily. The tardis was still the tardis, no matter where it was in time, space, or alternate realities.

"Oh, before —"

Rose heard the words as she opened the door, but was already caught in the motion. She looked up, hearing the Doctor mutter something under his breath about her seeing soon enough. And she wondered, briefly, what he meant. Only briefly, though, because that was when she caught sight of a very familiar head of hair and a grin that she'd know anywhere. The Doctor's hand on her elbow and his voice reminding her that this man wasn't the same, either, were all that stopped her from throwing herself at him. Instead she laughed and it was half-sob.

The one person she'd given up hope on ever seeing again.

Figured, then, that he'd be here in the last place she expected to ever stand again.

"Jack."

x x x End Chapter x x x


	3. Reunions Most Bittersweet

x x x Chapter Two: Reunions Most Bittersweet x x x

"I've heard a lot about you."

Rose continued to just stare in shock even as Jack's opening greeting washed over and through her. Her heart felt like it was breaking all over again. Jack. Jack was right there. She pressed her lips together, determined not to cry. This day was getting more and more overwhelming by the moment. Any second now she was going to have a nervous breakdown. Something much bigger than the mini-breakdown she had the very first time she stepped into the tardis, back when she was nothing more than a shopgirl without a shop worrying about whether or not the Doctor had just pulled the head off of her boyfriend or not.

Right now was definitely not the time to cry, though. This was a happy time, even if it was completely and utterly overwhelming. She had the Doctor back — sort of — and Jack too. Though, again — sort of. That was better than nothing, she kept telling herself, even as she wondered if she would wake up at any second to realize that this had been nothing more than a taunting dream of the life she would never again have. How many nights had just that happened? Brushing up against something beautiful, only to have it slip through her fingers the second she opened her eyes?

This wasn't a dream, some little part of her mind insisted. This was real. Still, she pinched her arm just to be sure, the pain a confirmation of her waking state.

Despite her best efforts, some tears managed to somehow escape her eyes. She realized this only about the time they hit her chin and dripped off to land in a wet splat on the same arm she'd just pinched. She flinched, surprised.

"Hey, now," Jack murmured, getting close enough that she could smell that aftershave he'd always worn. It made her tremble inside, broken apart even as pieces were trying desperately to right themselves again. He held out a handkerchief that Rose took gratefully. "Usually women cry in happiness after meeting me. This doesn't look like happiness."

That was just so…so… Jack. Rose giggled, wiping at her cheeks with her hand even as she continued to laugh softly. "Sorry."

In that moment she suddenly realized, too, that she could feel the Tardis around her, welcoming her. It knew her, just as the other did, and that was something that Rose felt thankful for at that moment. It was a constant, a solid presence there in her mind when she was sure that she was going to break under the revelations of the day. The Doctor would notice eventually, the closeness she had to his precious Tardis, and then she'd be forced to fill in some of the noticeable gaps in her reports. Namely, the way that the Time War well and finally ended in her own reality. Her experience as Bad Wolf and how the Doctor had really regenerated. All of that she had kept out of her reports, feeling as if it were too private for anyone to read.

She still felt that way, but how could she keep it from the Doctor if they were going to be traveling together? It would be impossible.

That, however, was not a conversation for now. Later.

Much later, if she had any say in the matter.

Jack shrugged off her apology and gave her one of his over the top, far too perfect smiles. "It's hard, I know. Well, I guess. Never had the opportunity to go through to another reality myself."

So the Doctor had already caught him up to speed on that, which was good. She wouldn't need to act like she didn't already sort of know him. That was a relief, given that she was having a hard enough time resisting the urge to hug him, or the Doctor. She wondered if they could see that on her face, the barely restrained urge to reach out and touch.

"Well, it's different, definitely," Rose nodded. "I mean… seein' people that you know… but they aren't the people you know at all. Not really."

"Actually, a lot of what I read about the me from there," Jack winked. "Was true. Except, I did miss out on saving you from the barrage balloon and dancing in front of Big Ben on top of a cloaked space ship. Guess we have some things to make up for, then. Maybe I can show you a few tricks that other me never did?"

Rose blushed at the completely flirty look that went along with his comment. Definitely Jack.

"Jack — don't scare her on her first day with us, all right?"

Rose wanted to argue that it wasn't her first day, but maybe that was the wrong way to think about this. About everything. This was starting over. Even if the people around her were familiar, they were different, too.

"Sure thing, Doc," Jack drawled, turning away from them. Rose smirked at the look the Doctor shared with her. He didn't like that nickname any more than hers had. "I'll wait until tomorrow, if that's okay with you, Rose?"

"Oh, yeah, of course," she agreed with a roll of her eyes. Jack tossed her another smile and then exited the control room. She followed him with her eyes until he was completely out of sight. Tomorrow. Well, she was sort of looking forward to that, all things told. Jack flirting with her was about as much of a universal constant as she seemed to be able to find these days. It filled her with hope that maybe other things wouldn't have changed. Like the way that her and the Doctor had meshed, right from the start.

"If he gets to be too much, just let me know," the Doctor offered quietly, surprising Rose. Now that was different. Her Doctor would have known better.

She turned to him with a raised eyebrow, "You forget, Doctor, I'm used to Jack. He's no worse than the one from my reality. I can handle him."

The look he gave her said that he was skeptical about her ability to deal with Captain Jack Harkness, but Rose didn't feel like arguing with him at that moment. For all she knew, this Captain Jack was even worse than her own, anyway.

She ignored the Doctor for the moment, stepping more fully into the Tardis. Each foot she placed brought her closer and closer to the controls, the central column quiet. They'd need to take off soon if they weren't going to get seen by her associates at Torchwood. She put her hand on the smooth metal of the console, between a lever she thought had something to do with the 'space' portion of traveling in time and space, and another that she was pretty sure controlled the speed at which they traveled. Or maybe that was the switch for the broken chameleon circuit. Hard to say. The Doctor had never really explained much to her when it came to piloting the Tardis. The little she did know was mostly instinct, left over from things best left forgotten.

Memories of golden light and power that had coursed through her veins. Bad Wolf. That was her. Could she have saved everyone by doing it all over again?

No. Yes. Possibly. It didn't matter. Rose shook her head. She wasn't going to do that again out of fear that the Doctor would try, one more time, to save her. She didn't deserve that kind of sacrifice. Never had and never would.

He was just too blind to see that sometimes.

She watched the Doctor as he began to set a destination. Where and when she didn't know or care. This was it. She was in it for the long haul now. This Doctor wasn't going to get rid of her by tossing her into an alternate reality — she'd make sure of that. No telling if there'd be another Doctor in a new reality, waiting to whisk her away.

No, this was it.

The familiar groan of the tardis' seemed to come from everywhere at once as they started moving. She clutched at the railing for a moment, the time spent away having made her unused to the lurching that seemed to accompany every takeoff and landing.

"I'll need to let my mum know. I mean, I can't just go disappearing. She'll get worried."

She could care less about her job at Torchwood. Those people had been the biggest group of morons she'd ever encountered, for the most part. The Doctor was right, chances are she'd say something that put the Earth far too ahead for its own good if she stayed on with them. There were things she'd seen while traveling.

And then there were the bits and pieces of things that she still got flashes of, every now and then, when working through files on new alien species Torchwood thought they'd come across. Glimpses of information that should have left her long ago.

She'd give it all away and never mean to.

She'd damn the Earth, to hell with the consequences because she wouldn't even know that they were there until it was too late.

Rose didn't want that.

The Doctor looked up from the controls, lips pressed together in that way she remembered so well as he considered her request to speak with her mum. In the end, she knew he'd do it, but that look of 'oh, lord, domesticity' on his face, however brief, was enough to make her grin again. He held out a hand. "Phone."

It wasn't the request itself so much that struck her as odd, but the fact that the Doctor had made it. After all, he wasn't the first Doctor to ask for her phone. Not even the first Doctor in a battered leather coat. This Doctor, who didn't know a thing about the fact that her previous Doctor had rigged her phone for her because she hadn't mentioned it in her reports at all, was about to do the exact same thing that his self in her own reality had done. She handed it over without a word, smiling at him. He frowned, "What?"

"Nothin'. Nothin' at all." 

He was so much like her own Doctor. So very much.

Maybe too much, because already she could feel herself tumbling into an emotional place that she shouldn't — couldn't — go. Not with him.

The smile must have made him nervous, because he handed the phone back as quickly as possible, tucking away his sonic screwdriver back into his pocket.

"Thanks."

Now for one of he hardest calls she was ever going to make. She used the speed dial for her mum's house, hoping that it was her that answered and not Pete or the housekeeper. She didn't know how long she could be brave if she had to hold together while waiting to get to the one person in all of this world that needed to know what she was doing.

"Mum?" Rose greeted, voice trembling even as she decided for the just jumping right in method. "Guess where I am right now?"

END CHAPTER


	4. The Little Things

x x x Chapter Three x x x

It was the little things that were different about the Doctor and things concerning him in this reality; Rose began to notice almost immediately.

Starting with when she went to look for a place to call her own on this 'new' Tardis.

The Doctor had offered her any room that she wanted, so instinctively she had sought out the one that she'd used during the entire time that she traveled with her Doctor. She had walked right up to the door and opened it.

Only to be met with some sort of storage closet. Filled to the brim and resembling nothing even remotely familiar to the bedroom that she had spent untold hours' in, resting and recuperating from the adventures her Doctor had taken her on, or just grabbing a quick bit of sleep as they traveled. Boxes and bins, pieces of electronic equipment that made no sense to her. Things the Doctor needed, for sure.

She had walked down the hall further, taking the first bedroom she came to with a sense of odd detachment, born of something that she was sure was the beginnings of shock. The room was empty and she was glad for that. Jack's room was somewhere around here, too. Well, if he was in the same room he would have been in back in her reality, that was.

The Tardis was the same, and that was comforting even when nothing else could be. It was pleased to have her aboard. Just not pleased enough to rearrange everything and put her bedroom where she thought it should be, Rose thought to herself.

By the time she got back to the console room, Jack had returned and was working on something under the panel across from her. She could see his legs sticking out. Leather pants, well at least that hadn't changed.

And he still had a nice —

"You find a room?"

Rose nodded in response to the Doctor's question, turning her attention to him. Same eyes, different Doctor. Same face, different Doctor. Same everything — but not her Doctor. It was so very hard to keep that straight.

"Your mum take it well?"

Surprised, Rose could only blink for the longest of moments. She'd walked out of the room still talking to her mum earlier, setting out to acquaint herself with this new Tardis. So, of course the Doctor had no idea how that conversation had ended.

It was the fact that he was caring enough to ask that threw her for a loop.

Definitely not her Doctor.

"She's upset. But says if it makes me happy, then…" Rose trailed off, shrugging. She laughed. "S'not like you gave me much choice. Might as well have trussed me up and thrown me in."

"Oi!" the Doctor said, brows going up. "I didn't kidnap you."

"And if I hadn't wanted to come along?"

"He'd have figured something out, I'm sure," Jack answered, voice half-muffled from under the console.

"Of course," the Doctor nodded. "Just not sure what it would have been, mind you. Can't have you blundering about, potentially creating trouble for me to have t'come and fix. Much easier this way. Simpler."

When he put it that way, Rose had to agree. She couldn't deny, either, that this was where she wanted to be. Back in the Tardis with a Doctor, even if it wasn't her Doctor. And with a version of Jack, too! Speaking of which…

She shoved her hands down in her pockets and leaned back against one panel of the console, watching Jack out of the corner of her eye as she continued to follow the movement of the Doctor's hands on the controls.

"So how'd you two meet. Here, in this reality?" she asked. "I know how it happened in mine. But I s'pose it was different here, right? Without me there."

"Definitely no dancing involved," Jack called out.

Rose stifled a grin. So many ways that could be taken but only one that she was sure Jack had actually meant.

"Not with me or anyone else?" she teased. "Didn't take the Doctor for a twirl?"

The Doctor looked up, rolling his eyes as Jack laughingly answered, "Don't think I didn't try. He just wasn't having any of it. Used up some of my best lines trying to get him to do a little… dancing."

Okay, then. So maybe Jack did know that little meaning.

"What happened was this," the Doctor joined her at the console, leaning against it so close to her that she could feel his arm brush against hers when he crossed his arms over his chest. He hooked one foot over the other, at the ankle, and regarded her with a half-smile on his lips. That, too, was different. The Doctor she'd known — this incarnation at least — hadn't smiled that often. Not half-smiles or otherwise.

"Everything in your report — right up to the part where you landed with the other me — that happened like you said. 'Cept, was just me. Not you an' me."

Rose nodded in encouragement.

"I get there, figure out that I've landed in the middle of the war, start lookin' around for that thing I'd been chasing through the Void."

"That's when he and I stumbled into one another," Jack said from beside her. Rose turned, surprised. She hadn't even realized that he'd come up from under the console. "I knew I'd screwed up, but I was still trying to work my con."

"He's skippin' ahead," the Doctor argued with a shake of his head. "I met Nancy and her kids before that."

Rose was grinning outright at the playfully disdainful looks that they were giving one another. If she didn't know better, she'd think that the two of them had danced before. Come to think of it, all Jack had said was that the Doctor hadn't danced with him that time in London, not that they'd never danced together since. Something like jealousy bubbled its way upwards. She grabbed at it within mental fingers, squashing it before it could get any farther.

Not her Doctor.

Not her Jack.

Not her business.

"Anyway — we finally meet up. I think he's a Time Agent, sent to bring me in or make a deal."

"'Cept I'm not falling for his con. Not when I've already noticed that there's this bit of oddness goin' around. People with gas masks for faces. A little boy cryin' for his mummy," the Doctor rolled his eyes. "Made pretty boy here take me to his 'warship'."

"And from there it went pretty much like your file said," Jack shrugged. He leaned in a bit, bumping her lightly with his shoulder. "I'm sort of jealous of your version, come to think of it. All I got was him. The other me got to dance with you."

"Nothing beats dancing on an invisible ship during German air raids," Rose grinned, resting the tip of her tongue in the corner of her mouth. Jack's eyes followed it, lingered just a moment longer than they had to, and Rose felt a bit of heat build up in her cheeks.

This one was going to be just as much trouble as her own Jack had been.

Maybe even more so.

"Show me your moves sometime?"

Before she could stop the words from coming out of her mouth, Rose found herself saying, "If you're lucky."

Jack grinned. "I'm the luckiest man I know, darling."

The Doctor coughed. Rose smothered her grin and turned to him with an apology on her lips, but the look on his face was that of amused interest. Another difference, then. The other Doctor had wanted all of her attention to himself. This one, not so much so, apparently. Then again, he barely knew her. She couldn't very well expect him to get jealous over a girl he'd only just met.

"Do you two mind keepin' the flirting out of the control room?" the Doctor said. Then he paused and flashed a grin that was mischievous if Rose ever saw one. "And that dancin', too, if you don't mind."

Rose laughed, the sound bubbling up like a cough that escaped her lips before she could stop it. Her cheeks were a little hot and she had no doubt in her mind that they were pink. She opened her lips to deny what she'd been very well caught in the act of doing, open to shut them again. It didn't matter. This was a new Doctor and a new Jack and she could flirt with this Jack if she wanted. The Doctor had no say in her behavior.

Well, no say in it outside of insisting that she travel with him and Jack, that was. She hadn't exactly put up a fight, either, she supposed.

"So — he transported the bomb into his ship, then you showed up just in the nick of time to save him, then?" Rose carefully turned the subject away from flirting, dancing, and everything else that could even be remotely construed as dangerous topics for the time being.

"That I did. 'Course, he knew that I would. Don't know why the me in your reality played head games with him like that. Makin' him think he was going to be blown to bits for doing the right thing," the Doctor said with a shake of his head.

Rose knew. Or, she thought she knew. It was the whole jealousy issue all over again. The Doctor — her Doctor, that was — hadn't really liked Jack because of how he'd been with her. Without her to be in the middle of everything, obviously this Doctor got along just fine with Jack. 

Why'd she feel a little off about that, then? Was it jealousy on her part? That she wasn't in the middle of their relationship?

Oh, this was going to be confusing. Not just the way she felt about the two of them — together and as a whole — but the adventures that the two of them had gone on versus the ones that she had been on and so on and so on.

Which led her to another question.

"Isn't me bein' here tempting paradox? I could say somethin', give away too much. Not to mention what was in those files…" she trailed off, realizing that she could very well have put this whole reality in jeopardy putting that information out there for the Doctor to read. She could've changed things already.

"Don't worry," the Doctor said. "Things are different enough for us that you aren't changing a thing."

"So…no Game Station, then?" she asked, half-playing, half-wanting to know for sure that she wasn't in for heartache sometime in the near future.

"Safe to say that, with all the Daleks gone from this reality, even if there was a Game Station, it wouldn't turn out that way," Jack said with bright grin.

She savored that thought, rolling it around in her head like a sweet in her mouth. No Game Station. No Daleks.

Sounded like heaven, to her; even with all the confusing thoughts running through her head. Rose looked between the two of them, a question in her eyes.

"So — where're we goin' first then?"

END CHAPTER


	5. The Dance Remains the Same

FFYAOA: Chapter Four

Rose moved her wrists gingerly, glancing around the room that her and Jack had been tossed into without so much as a reason given why. She sighed and then laughed. Some things just didn't change, alternate reality or no. Traveling with the Doctor was hazardous and guaranteed to be exciting. They hadn't been off the Tardis for more than ten minutes when they'd been hauled away for only God knew what.

"What's so funny?"

She shook her head, still laughing. "Nothing," she waved off the question. "Nothin' at all." Her laughter trailed off into snickers and then to nothing and finally she could speak again, "S'just, first trip w' the two of you and look where 'm at already."

"It's not the nicest as prison cells go," Jack said with what looked to Rose like a reassuring smile. It only made her laugh a bit harder, though she was polite enough to try to stifle it. He was only trying to be helpful. "But don't worry, we'll get out."

"Oh, yeah, no worries at all," she agreed when at last she had her laughter under control. "'m just marveling at how quick being with the Doctor put me back in dangerous situations. Was all – step off the Tardis, get hauled off to jail this time. Didn't even have a chance to look 'round the bazaar for more than five minutes."

Jack caught on and a slow grin spread over his lips. He nodded. "He does tend to have trouble following him wherever he goes, doesn't he? This one time, on Thrishnic, he and I were just looking for spare parts for the Tardis, when out of nowhere a local crime lord up and decides that he looks like the man that owes him fifty thousand docets – that's the money on that planet – and we both get jumped and pushed into the back of a hovercraft before we know what's happening. Next thing I know –"

Rose leaned against the wall, listening to Jack's story. It could have been something that happened to them. Her Doctor. Her Jack. And… her. That's how familiar it all seemed. This Jack liked to tell tales, too; just like hers. From that recounting of adventure, he launched into another and then another all over again. She had a feeling it was half wanting to keep her mind off the fact that they were imprisoned and half because he just liked to entertain. When her legs grew tired, Rose slid down the wall and sat on the hard floor, wincing a bit at the coldness that almost immediately seeped through her jeans to the bruise that she'd gotten while struggling to get free from their captors.

She must have winced, because Jack was by her side in a second. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said.

"Your tone says otherwise."

Rose sighed and shrugged. "'s nothing, okay? Just a bruise and the floor's cold." She stopped and thought for a long moment about when they first were shoved into the room. "Come to think of it, it seems like its getting colder in here. Was warm at first."

Instead of denying her spur of the moment assessment of the situation, Jack nodded grimly. "I had already noticed. Not sure what they're doing. The ruling class of this planet during this time period are sort of… well, sick in the head is probably the best way to describe them. They take amusement from the suffering of others." He sat down next to her, so close that she could feel some of his body warmth. It was all she could do not to lean into him, like she would have with the Jack she had known.

"You don't seem cold," she pointed out more to make conversation than anything else.

"The humans of my time are slightly more advanced than they are in yours," he shrugged. "We don't get sick, hot, or cold as easy."

Rose snorted. "Must be nice. Bein' all superior."

She shivered, feeling the room's temperature drop even further. Her breath was coming out now in little foggy puffs. Wriggling, Rose pulled her hands and fingers up into her sleeves. Her toes were starting to feel the chill through both her trainers and socks. Hands still covered by her sleeves, Rose rubbed at her arms.

"Come here."

And then she was being pulled right up alongside Jack, his arm around her shoulders pressing her to him. She thought about protesting for one long second, but didn't. He was warm and sharing that warmth. In moments, her shivering had died off until she was only trembling.

The trembling had nothing to do with being cold, however. Rose licked her lips, careful to keep her eyes off of Jack's face, head down so that he couldn't see the confusion sparking in her eyes. She'd always liked Jack in her own universe – had been heartbroken when he hadn't been with them anymore.

In a way, she had always thought that maybe the two of them could work something out, even if her and the Doctor never got around to it. Or maybe, she had fantasized in more than one dream, all three of them could come together as one, happy unit.

Happy unit, ha! That was why it had been a dream and nothing more. The Doctor would never have gotten domestic. Not her first Doctor, anyway, and by the time her new Doctor rolled around, Jack was out of the picture.

Being here now, pressed up against Jack, breathing in that faintly spicy smell of his cologne, Rose knew again what it was to want. So she didn't try to pull away, didn't try to put some distance between them, and it wasn't just because she needed the warmth. It was because, after missing her Jack for so long, this Jack was good enough. The thought worked its way down, deeper into her mind, until – just for a few warmth-filled, happy moments – she was okay with it.

And then reality hit.

This was not her Jack. Not her world.

And certainly not her Doctor that she was praying would save them, though any savior would do just fine at that moment.

Rose sighed.

"So, this is it, then. They just leave us in here to freeze to death? That's the plan?"

Finally, after a long moment, Jack spoke, "I don't think they'll let it go that far. Not much fun to watch your captives freeze to death." He paused. "I think we're probably already giving them what they want, actually."

"What's that?" Rose asked, turning to look at him. From this angle, all she could see was his profile. The hard set of his face, the tic in his jaw that she knew meant he was either really angry, really irritated, or both. She was sure, right at that moment, that it was both.

"Interaction with one another. Watching how we react to the situation as it changes," he offered in a low voice that she was sure was meant for her ears only. Rose nodded slightly.

"So they won't kill us?"

"No clue, darling," he admitted after a second's pause. "I just don't think that's the goal right now."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Jack said. He pulled her closer to his side and Rose burrowed her face into his shoulder, refusing to look out the room. Maybe if she just ignored it all, this would end and she wouldn't be here stuck in this room, getting colder and colder by the minute, torturing herself with memories of the past and longing for what should never be.

"He'll be here soon," she whispered into Jack's shoulder. "I know he will."

Jack didn't respond.

x x x

"Rose, honey, wake up."

"Jack?" Rose muttered, tired. "You get that power coupling hooked up for the Doctor?"

He laughed and she felt strong hands on her shoulders, gently jostling her. Rose swallowed and opened her eyes. Why was Jack waking her up when she needed to sleep?

Oh, right, Rose realized the second the sleep had cleared from her eyes. This wasn't her Jack. She blushed. "Just ignore me, was dreaming."

"About me fetching a power coupling for the Doctor?" Jack smirked. "Yeah, I got that."

"Was the other Jack…other Doctor," she defended herself testily. "Wasn't dreamin' about you."

"Yet," he teased. "Give me half a shot and I'll give you things to keep your mind in sweet dreams for at least half your life."

"Only half?" Rose rolled her eyes and pulled away from him. It was then that she noticed that she wasn't cold anymore.

"They turned the cold air off maybe half an hour ago. It's been getting warmer since then."

She didn't dare ask how much warmer it had gotten and how quickly, afraid that she would be told that it now looked like their captors were swinging from cold to hot. Instead, Rose forced herself to really look around the room for the first time. It didn't look like a jail cell. There was a bed and the floor was carpeted, if not very thinly. On the other hand, there were no windows and only a single steel door that they had heard being locked when they were first thrown in.

She was really starting to wish the Doctor hadn't gone off to a different part of the market. Had they been missing long enough for him to even get worried? She couldn't tell. Time was all so fleeting when she had nothing to measure it against. It was sort of like being in the Tardis, except without that feeling of home and security.

Sitting up, Rose stretched out her arms and legs. "How long was I asleep?"

"Maybe an hour? Hard to say."

Just as she'd thought. So it had been about two or three hours since they'd been tossed in this room.

"Would it help if I promised to try to get him to take us somewhere safe and restful after this?"

Rose laughed before she could stop herself. A short bark of sound that rang through the room. She bit the inside of her cheek at the mock-hurt on Jack's face.

"What?" he asked.

"D'you know how many times we said that? The three of us? Next time it would be safe. Next time it would be fun. Next time it would be restful. Never was," she laughed. "Well, 'cept for the fun part. Always did enjoy runnin' for my life with the two of you. I mean, with my Doctor and my Jack."

"I knew what you meant," he assured her. "And I'm glad to see that we've lived up to your standards so far. Anything I could do to raise the bar a bit?"

She grinned. "Dunno, could you put us in real mortal danger? Not just this up and down temperature thing? It's creepy, but hardly life threatening."

The door to the room swung open as Rose finished speaking and she sucked in a breath. Two guards, like the ones that had captured them, stepped into the room while two more remained in the hall. Four guns were trained on them and Rose felt menace descend over the room.

"Hey, Rose," Jack asked in a quiet voice, taking a step closer to her under the watchfully hateful eyes of their captors. "Remember that old saying about being careful what you wish for?"

END CHAPTER


	6. Not Free to Wear Sunscreen

FFYAOA: Chapter Five

This did not look good. Rose inched closer to Jack, his mere proximity making her feel better — even if only a touch. She swallowed, nervousness making her feel sick to her stomach.

"Hey guys — can we talk about this?" Jack asked, smiling despite the situation. "I'm sure this is all just a mix-up."

"There is no mix-up."

Rose looked from the four goons with guns to the man that had stepped into the doorway. He didn't look any friendlier than the firing squad, she noted with a rising sense of dread. Slightly pudgy, balding — he looked like the stereotypical tyrant to her.

"We didn't do anything," Jack offered with a shrug. "I figure you have to have mistaken us for someone else."

The man's lips pressed into a thin smile. "It matters not if you did anything that you consider to be worthy of note. You arrived here with a person of interest."

The Doctor, of course, Rose's brain supplied to her as she lingered over their captor's words.

"And it is him that we are interested in speaking with," their captor continued, though the way he said 'speaking' led Rose to believe that it was the last thing they actually wanted from the Doctor. "Tell us where he is."

"No clue," Jack shrugged.

The pudgy man's already thin smile slipped to a full frown. His eyes darted to Rose and she felt a chill creep across her skin. "Is that your answer as well?"

"I don't know where he is," she agreed with a nod, thankful that her voice didn't tremble too much.

"Why do I not believe you?"

"It's the truth!" Jack protested, taking a step forward. Instantly the guns swung level with his head and heart. Rose gasped and Jack halted immediately in his tracks. Only when it was clear that they were not going to fire did she breathe again, but her heart was still racing frantically. Jack sighed. "We don't know where he is."

"And, again — I do not believe you," the man sneered. "No matter. I know just how to lure him into the open."

As if they had been waiting for a signal, four more guards came stomping into the room. Rose bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain when her hands were jerked behind her back, bound, and she was shoved forward, the tip of a gun digging into her back when she tried to hold back and not be taken from Jack.

What was going to happen to them?

Through the building they were led, past other rooms that looked just as much like a jail cell as the one her and Jack had been kept in. No matter which was she turned her head, there were no obvious avenues of escape and no sign that the Doctor was anywhere nearby planning to break them out of this place. Before she knew it, doors opened in front of her and bright light momentarily blinded her. She felt the warmth of the sun and drew fresh air into her lungs. Outside! They were outside!

She looked around, squinting as her eyes struggled to adjust to the sunlight. On and on they walked, through the city, the sounds getting louder as they marched, nearing somewhere that obviously had a lot of people.

The first thing she recognized where the bazaar tents that her and Jack had had their sights set on when they'd first started out of the Tardis. The citizens of the city stepped out of their way as they continued on, the guards that surrounded her and Jack giving no indication that they would have stopped moving even if a citizen had dared to stay in the way anyway.

And then they stopped walking entirely. Rose stumbled to a stop, barely managing to catch her balance without falling on her face.

"That doesn't look good."

Rose's head snapped up, eyes darting around to get a look at what Jack was talking about. She froze. "Are those…"

"Stocks," Jack confirmed grimly. "They're going to put us in the stocks, right here in the center of the bazaar. Hard for the Doctor not to notice that, I suppose."

She wasn't naïve. She knew what would happen when the Doctor came to get them free. He'd be captured by the guards that would undoubtedly be lying in wait somewhere close by.

"He won't fall for it, don't worry," Jack muttered to her as he was forced up, first, to the wooden stocks. They were on a platform in what Rose could only assume was the center of the bazaar. Everyone would be staring at them, she realized.

And Jack was right, the Doctor wouldn't fall for this trick. He'd see it for what it was and then try his best to work around it. What worried her was what happened if that didn't work. Would he rush in and try to save them anyway? Her first Doctor had been that rash. He would rush headlong into danger to save her. But was this Doctor like that?

Did she really want him to be? To risk his life for theirs?

She didn't know.

"Hey! HEY! All you have to do is ask, guys!"

Rose turned her attention back to Jack. The guards had taken a knife to his shirt, slitting it up the front. With a smirk that said he wasn't going to let this get to him any more than anything else had, Jack pulled the remains of the shirt from his pants and then off of his body. The undershirt went, too, after a none-too-friendly prod from the nearest guard. He was forced to kneel with a hard shove to his back. She saw Jack wince and knew that it had to have hurt him, but he didn't utter a sound and she was proud of him for that. Not giving the enemy any satisfaction was always a good idea — even if only for your own pride, she knew. Knowing she was next, Rose watched as Jack was forced to put his head and wrists into the stocks. The sound of the device closing rocketed through the now-quite bazaar.

Before she could even recapture her wits, Rose felt her own contingent of guards pushing her forward, up the steps. On top of the platform, she could see out over the center of the bazaar. Everyone had come out to watch, it seemed. There wasn't a spare inch of space to be had. This planet was just like any other, she supposed — people enjoying watching other suffer.

"Strip."

The command was expected, but Rose still had to fight not to flinch. Their captor – who she decided to refer to as Sleazy – licked his lips in anticipation, his prominent brow already beading with sweat in the sunlight. His gaze darkened when she didn't immediately jump to it.

"Take your clothes off – or the guards will do it for you."

Rose nodded, fingers moving stiffly to the bottom of her shirt. She was glad that she'd worn clean and rather modest knickers that day. Her gaze was locked with Sleazy's as she tugged the shirt up. This wasn't that hard. Sure, this was more people than had ever seen this much of her skin, but that was all right. She'd get through this. Then the Doctor was going to owe them somewhere peaceful and restful next, she told herself. Somewhere with a beach and gentle waves. Only her first trip out and already she was plannin' on needing a vacation from the danger.

She pulled the shirt over her head and told herself that this wasn't much different from being out at the water in a bikini. Right?

"Trousers, too."

"What?!?" Jack's cry echoed hers, both angry.

"You didn't make him take his off!" Rose protested.

"Thanks, Rose, sweetie," Jack said, but it was with something that almost sounded like amusement. "Just remind the nice man that I still have my pants."

Rose threw a smile over her shoulder, unsure if Jack could even see it from the angle he was at.

"Guards," Sleazy prompted. "Assist her."

Rose twisted away, fingers already fumbling with the catch of her trousers. There was no way she was going to have someone else strip her of her clothing. She'd do this herself.

Just like a bathing suit, she told herself silently.

She pushed her jeans down, kicking off her shoes so that she could step out of them. Swallowing down her disgust at being forced into this situation, Rose lifted her head to stare at the evil little man before turning to the stocks. Without prompting, she got down on her knees and placed herself in the wooden restraint. Everyone behind her was getting a nice little show of her arse, she knew.

"We'll be alright, Rose," Jack tried to assure her.

Rose wished she could believe him.

She forced herself to keep looking forward, meeting the eyes of the crowd that gathered to watch this spectacle.

This would not break her – she'd endured too much already in her life to let something like this be her undoing.

Sit out like this too long and she'd get a sunburn all up and down her back – definitely not a fate that she wanted to endure.

The Doctor had sure better show up sooner rather than later.

END Chapter


	7. Flirting With Disaster

CHAPTER SIX

"So – tell me about myself."

Rose cut her eyes to the side, unable to see more than the very side of Jack's head from this position. Her neck was aching, her knees were sore from kneeling for so long, and she was very sure that the sunburn she had worried about was a reality after spending the entire afternoon with her bare skin exposed like it was. There'd be something in the Tardis to take the sting off, she was sure. Provided they ever made it back to the Tardis, that was.

"The me from your universe," he prodded. "What was he like?"

"Wonderful," Rose said without thinking, happy to have something – anything – to take her mind off of the situation they were in. All around them the bazaar moved on at its normal pace, the citizens of this backwards little rock of a planet going on with their lives, making no move to help the two poor visitors that had been put up on display for them all. Every now and then someone would stop – usually a male – and leer at her, but otherwise the experience had been only mildly uncomfortable once she'd resigned herself to the fact that she was almost completely naked in the middle of a crowd of strangers.

"Wonderful, huh?" Jack asked, voice light but curious and more than a little teasing.

"I cared about 'im a lot," she admitted softly, giving voice to something she hadn't been able to in the reports or in the casual conversations she'd had with either of them in the short time since she'd joined them in the Tardis. "He was such a flirt but with a real heart of gold, you know?"

Jack laughed. "Yeah, I think I know."

Rose blushed and then laughed at the irony of what she'd said, his reaction. "I s'pose you would, at that."

Jack was quiet, and Rose sighed, shifting a bit to try to get comfortable. Well, more comfortable anyway, seeing as how they didn't look to be getting rescued any time soon. She wondered if the Doctor had even realized yet that they were in trouble and not just spending more time in the bazaar than he had thought they would. That was nothing more than her being silly, though, because of course the Doctor knew they were in trouble. He always managed to know things like that, even when logic dictated that there was no way he i should /i know. Really, then, she didn't need to even wonder if he knew, only what he was doing about the knowing.

"What happened to the other me?"

Rose stiffened, Jack's question rolling over her like a thousand stinging slaps. She sucked in a breath through her teeth and tried to turn her head just enough to look at him more fully. "Jack –"

"I know it's something you don't want to talk about," he cut her off, voice quiet and sympathetic. "Even in your report it was all i Jack died /i , nothing more, nothing less." He frowned. "Come to think of it, that entire report felt like it was lacking in detail, but that's not my point." Another pause. "The point is this – you say you cared about your Jack, but he was sort of nothing more than a footnote in your report."

It wasn't fair that this question was being put to her here and now, with all of these people around that could overhear. Not that she thought any of them cared to listen. They had their own boring lives to attend to and didn't need to hear any part of her own dramatic saga. This was the sort of question she had always expected that one – if not both – of them would ask her, and she'd been almost prepared for it… well, as much as she could be.

But she thought that question would come while they were traveling or late at night, sipping tea in the Tardis' little kitchen. Maybe drinking with Jack. Not that she had given this much thought in the few hours she had been back in their company …

… except she had. She'd gone over it a million and one times in her head – how exactly to admit to what happened on the Game Station.

And here Jack was, asking her when they were bound, him bare from the waist up and her in just her knickers.

Sometimes life wasn't fair.

"'s'nt a bit odd, wantin' to know how the other you died?" she asked him, stalling. On some level she was hoping that she could – i maybe /i – distract him enough that he might let this go for right now. If he really wanted to know and got tenacious about it, then she would tell him. She wouldn't lie. Lying wasn't the best way to start a new friendship, and being Jack's friend mattered to her more than just about anything right now.

"Why do I get the feeling this story has less of a happy ending than I already knew it did?" Jack asked her. A second later she realized that they were close enough that he could, with some effort, reach out one leg to nudge her calve with the tip of his foot. She half-smiled and sighed again.

So she told him. She told him all of it in a voice so broken that she wondered how she'd ever thought that she'd moved on past those memories. Wondered if she would ever really feel healed from what had happened in that brief, brief time. Rose felt her heart wrench in her chest when she laughed off Jack's kiss goodbye to both herself and the Doctor, heard Jack give a little chuckle as if to say i that a' boy /i .

"He tried to send me away," she told him softly. "Tricked me into the Tardis and sent me back to my mum. Thought he was doing what was right, he really did. Never stopped once to think that I wouldn't want to –"

She stopped, voice faltering, remembering that day on the beach when she'd finally been able to tell the Doctor how she'd felt. That was the last time she'd seen him. i That /i him, anyhow. There was i this /i him in i this /i reality, but it wasn't the same. Her heart leapt at the sight of him because he was familiar in looks, and even sometimes actions, but he wasn't i her /i Doctor. That man was – quite literally – in another universe. Locked away from her.

And, oh God, it still hurt. Still ached and bled deep inside with the pain of a thousand cuts that she was sure would never heal over. Not completely.

"You loved him," Jack said simply.

Rose nodded. Maybe it was because he was i Jack /i - and she'd never had trouble talking to her Jack about her problems and feelings – but she realized that it wasn't so hard to admit. The world could have stopped around her right at that moment and she wouldn't even have noticed it, though; so caught up in the painful memories.

"I loved him," she repeated. "And I wasn't about t'let him go off and die by himself, stupid git."

Jack laughed, and after a moment Rose joined him. The hardest part of the story was still to come, she knew, and it took her a long moment to work up to speaking again. Long enough that Jack prodded her again with his foot, jarring her from thoughts of memories from a lifetime ago with one simple question.

"What did you do?"

Rose bit her lower lip, trying to find the words. "I was des'prate, just so you know. I needed to get back to him, and all I had was the Tardis … but I couldn't fly her. So I got into her… into her heart. Took the Vortex into myself."

Jack gasped, a sharp hiss of air through teeth. Rose had the feeling that he'd be giving her a look of complete and utter shock and maybe despair if he could get his head to turn that far in the stocks. She couldn't say she blamed him. The Doctor had sat her down a few months after his regeneration and explained just what she did, why it was so dangerous, and why she must never, i ever /i get such a foolish idea in her head again. He might not be around to save her next time, he had warned, and even as he said the words, she'd laughed them off to herself because the Doctor would i always /i be around.

"I don't remember much about what happened after that," she told him, honestly. "The Doctor filled in the blanks for me. I came back t'the Game Station, wiped the Daleks from all of time – or, I thought – with just a thought and a wave of my hand. And then the Doctor… he…" she choked around the words. "He had to take the Vortex back from me, because it was burning me inside. It was killin' me."

"Rose… hey…"

She sniffled, blinking back tears of guilt and sadness. "'S why he regenerated. Because of me. I killed him."

"Oh, honey," Jack sighed. "But, it sounds like you saved everyone."

"Everyone except the two people that mattered t'me the most," she said, the matter-of-fact statement coming out broken and whispery.

Jack was silent for a moment, then finally spoke, "Now, I can only speak for myself, of course. This me, right here and now – but it seems like you did the right thing. Don't get me wrong – it was very risky, and if you ever think of doing it again, I might have to punish you."

Rose choked on a laugh. She didn't need to see Jack's face to know there was a playful leer on it. God, she'd missed him. So very, very much. This – being in danger with him by her side – it felt so much like home that she wondered when she'd fallen off the deep end. How could she have ever lived out a normal life after what she'd seen and done?

How could she have survived for her entire life without these two, without the heart pounding fear and excitement?

Rose didn't really want to figure any of that out.

"On second thought, maybe we'll work the punishment in there somewhere anyway."

That was it. She was done. Rose laughed. Heads turned in the bazaar, and she wondered what those crazy aliens were thinking. Probably that she was completely off her rocker, laughing like she was while she was being held prisoner and subject to public humiliation.

It only made her laugh more.

END


End file.
